Today I want to introduce a term to you that you may not have heard before but once I define it I think it will describe someone you know, or maybe even yourself. It is intimacy anorexia. Most of you are familiar with the term anorexic…people, often women, who starve themselves of nutrition. And you know intimacy means closeness or connection. An intimacy anorexic starves his or her spouse of intimacy and connection. The anorexic actively withholds emotionally, spiritually, and sexually from their spouse to intentionally cause pain and create distance in the marriage so he or she doesn’t have to open their hearts to their partner. They fear connection.
But here is the most intriguing part. The anorexic is usually seen as normal and nice outside the home, but once they get home they shut down. This frequently goes on for years…living in an emotionless and often times sexless marriage. The spouse feels the unbearable pain of being unloved, criticized, blamed, and alone. It is heartbreaking. But it isn’t hopeless.
I get really excited about this. It is my passion! I work with both the anorexic and the spouse to teach them how to overcome this addictive pattern and bring love and connection into their marriage.
If this sounds like your marriage and you are willing to do the work, you can learn to connect in ways you never have. Sign up today for an appointment.
Take the intimacy anorexia test here to see if you or your spouse meet the criteria. If you do, contact me to begin the healing process.